A propos of nothing

Moved. Again. Been in the new digs for 6 months now. Is hood. Cannot ride my bike 100 feet without riding into cloud of 420

What I Did On My Summer Vacation It's Summertime in Houston! Well, first of all, let's talk about the weather. It sucks. Seriously. At the end of May/early June, we had a series of what are now called (presumably in a spirit of inclusion) Derechos. I can't recall if they are given names, but they will cut down trees, wear high heels... sorry about that. (A moose once bit my sister.) A 'Derecho', so far as I can figure, is characterized by torrential rain and sustained heavy linear winds. Lost power long enough to have to bin all of the contents of my fridge, plus the rain caused the sewers to back up. Plus we lost hot water (big complex!) and chill water (the thing that makes the complex's air conditioning go). This was not happy-making. I put in a claim with FEMA, and they came through. (BTW, both hot and chill water are rather hit-or-miss in this complex, which is very nearly as old as I am, and preventative maintenance stopped long before my last dental appointment. Smiles) About six weeks later, we were visited by Beryl. Power down for over a week. Beryl was either a hurricane or a tropical storm when she hit town. (Like the storm supra but with cyclonic winds.) Major shit. I had a bunch of laundry in at the laundromat when the power went out. 'Well, why didn't you just move it into the dryer' I had more than one person ask. 'Or just wring it out and put on the line to dry?' (In the rain? Some people are just a waste of oxygen, to tell you the truth.) Binned the fridge contents (again), got a new mattress, new sheets and pillows, and replaced a dozen sets of work clothes. Put in another FEMA claim. Waiting. We're into the brief drought season here, before the hurricane season hits its full stride. The dewpoint is on the order of 75 degrees F, and the temp is running in the high 90s during the day. Nights are better, it will cool off to mid 80s. Still not happy-making. On the other hand, it's great to see people working together to pull through this shit. Everyone with a grill was frantically grilling and offering up plates to all comers. Some are obviously Cajuns. I, personally, was surprised to see some of the stuff cooked on a bbq. On the gripping hand, I now have randos coming up to see if I have 'Seasonings' or 'Dipping Sauce'. This place is a bare step up from an Elf-infested trailer park, but sorry, I don't keep Ranch Dressing. Ketchup? Soy? Oyster sauce? Hoisin? Nah! Dippin' sauce! GF's son got out of jail Thursday 8 August. Sad story – he went off his meds in February, got locked up without his meds and no medical or psych evaluation, got abused in gen pop. Trial reset in April, because the PDFender fucked up. Then weather happened (supra). Bounced around from Harris County lockup to Louisiana to Mississippi to Harris County to Mississippi again. He probably qualifies for frequent flyer miles. Charges dismissed. No hard feelings, right? Now, to get his meds straightened out... His mom (my GF) starts to move his stuff into storage, which I consider a good thing, as it has been occupying ~10 cubic yards of my bedroom, as well as all of my closet space. Then she starts packing up the TV, which I bought her just a couple of weeks ago as a belated birthday present. And then her clothes. And accusing me of having social diseases. Ha! As if I have a social life. Rear view mirror time. What's that line of WireCutter's? Oh, yeah. 'Psycho Chicks. We've all had 'em'. This has allowed me the opportunity to move my bed from an East-West orientation to a North-South. It seems to help, or maybe it's these lab-grade Placebo tablets I've been taking. Dunno. (Is joke. Is actually lab-grade RUSSIAN 'spasebo' tablets, thank you very much). Work's been slow- to - reverse gear. I've had to switch my cell provider, and am still in the process of switching my new account to my old phone number. And my old hardware. OKAY! I admit it! I'm going for a Lifeline cellphone, 'cause it's, like, free, and I's poor. And also, getting rich in years. (APPROACHING MIDDLE AGE. Perhaps if I adopt a retrograde orbit...). Health continues in its normal fashion as expected having 1.5 lungs and 1.5 foots (seriously, I mean I'm missing half a lung from TB, and half of a foot from being run over by a bus, but one and a half feet rather raises the question of 'feet of what?') Transport continues to be bicycle, bus, and occasionally Mayor Brown's Lionel set. I'm trying really hard to maintain an attitude of gratitude, but it ain't easy. I discovered that it wasn't actually auditory hallucinations, just that the (now ex) GF would keep the radio on 24/7, 'but low, so it won't bother you'. Goddam Clearasil commercial radio, eight songs on the cart, plus ads and PSAs makes an hour broadcast. Lather, rinse, repeat. The drums, the drums... I'm not going mad, Mad I say, No not at all. Not at all My unit is on the perimeter of the complex, so I am gifted with cars idling with efficient subwoofers and lousy fit-and-finish on the body panels. A hallmark, I am told, of the 'Houston Sound' is a constant ululation near the 40 Hz range. It is not pleasant. It induces migraine headaches and feelings of paranoia. I'm also just by the only pedestrian gate serving some 200 units. You may or may not know that waves come in sets of seven -anybody surf?- but the gate does likewise, slamming in sets of seven I'd been depending on my cell phone mobile hotspot, which is now a thing of the past. But I have hopes that I can find a provider that doesn't wish to ass-rape me for my desired bandwidth and demand. Pray for me, Brothers and Sisters! And while you've got that channel open...USE IT!

My Famous Pea Soup Recipe

My Famous Pea Soup Recipe Take a knife to that ham bone, removing all viable chunks over say thumb size, and remove the sad bone portion to a large crock pot. Chop up the ham remnants. Try not to eat too much. Add water to cover, along with a large onion roughly chopped, and about the same amount of chopped celery. (You got a bunch of celery, didn't you. And some pimento cheese. And it's all left over save one tablespoon of the cheese, and half a stick of celery.) Put it on low. Leave it alone. Don't even look at it for at least 4 hours. Have a drink or 8. Take a nap. Take the dog for a walk. Now leave it alone for another couple hours. Who's a good boi! Yes you is! Now you can look at it. Pull out the bone, which by now should resemble something found in the Sahara. Good! Add liquid, and by liquid I mean that pot liquor from cooking the ham, what drained into the roasting pan what you cooked the ham in. Dump in 2 bags of dried split peas. With the ham chunks. If that's not enough, use some of that turkey stock you got on the back burner, or that half bottle of cheap Chardonnay. Water can be used, but, really, WHY? Get it back up to a slow simmer, and start adding leftovers. Roast potatoes with baby carrots, mushrooms, and onion = good. Sweet potatoes? Not so good. They go into pancake batter. Asparagus goes into a quiche. Leftover pies are discommended (they go into ice cream). God alone knows what happens to that sad sad sad green bean casserole with the Campbell's Cream of Mushroom soup and French's Fried Onions. (Please clean up after your dog). Should yield about 6 quarts, which can be frozen until Hell freezes over (found some 8 year old – wonderful!) Serve: as a soup with some nice bread, maybe a dollop of sour cream or plain yogurt and a sprinkling of paprika, as 'mushy peas' with fish and chips, or with a 'pork pie floater' should you be a Strine. Bon Apetit!

The3 signs of the times Oh dear. Winter is rolling in to Houston. Latitude 29.7633N. Same as, well,Cairo Egypt. We get actual snow maybe once every 10 years or so. We take pictures and revel in the novelty. Some folks come from colder climes, and stoke the fireplaces. They must all be upper crust, because none of them seem to burn the trash. Seriously. You have 15 cubic yards of un-collapsed Amazon shipping boxes there by your driveway where you park your Tesla. Re purpose that cellulose waste! Generate heat and light while reducing landfill! Composting that ash along with your coffee grounds and other kitchen waste will bring your veggies up a treat next Spring! Oh, sorry. I didn't realize. Too busy to make my own coffee, it comes from a drive-through window, and really, who, in today's economy, has the time or energy to cook at home? Got DoorDash on Quick Dial!

Friend

A friend of a friend told me about a person I might have known who was down on her luck. Living under a bridge with her dog and a bunch of meth users. Well, it turns out that we were friends back 30 years ago. I do what I can. Hold her hand going to find a women's shelter (she's been through a lot, none of it nice). Easiest way into a shelter is from a rehab (although she claims she's clean). (Rape and abuse are not the preferred entrees). Got her into a hospital, and then her ward was mptied to allow a group of drug addicted sexual predators in need of rehabilitation. With one white woman. Ball's back in my court. She can't stay there. And her dog misses her (I'm fostering the dog, right?). She's been there long enough to get her meds sraightened out.

PHOBIA?

A dictionary will tell you that a 'phobia' is an irrational fear. But it is now used as a universal phrase of dismissal. 'Ah, that's homophobic!' I'm not afraid of homosexuals. I find some of the displays distasteful (looking at you, Sisters of Divine Indulgence and suchlike), but other than a moral distaste I have no problem. I have a problem with wide open spaces. It's not fear, it's simply that they make me realize my cosmic insignificance. I don't like tight spaces. I've had building joists collapse on me and had to be dug out. Fear? Yes. Irrational? No. Now, accept (arguendo) that a quarter of the world's population belonged to a group whose stated purpose was to kill or to bring into submission the rest of the world, that they have access to nuclear weapons, and that dying in pursuit of their goals was a good thing. This would be something to be feared, am I right? Completely rational reaction?

A Love Story

She was a a lovely woman, and he a lonely man, who met in a quiet pool. Both had intended to clean themselves of weary work. The lady blushed. 'You must not gaze upon anything I do not show! But you may help me by washing my back'. 'Happily' he replied. He enjoyed washing her back and washing her hair, and pretty much all the rest of her. Because, seriously, if you've ever bathed ANYTHING like that, you really have to pay attention to everything. 'How, is it, sweetest dryad, that you must bathe alone, and rely upon the aid of a lonely traveler?' And she replied 'Can you swim?' 'Yes, sweetness, to the qualifications of the Cub Scouts, the Boy Scouts, the US Marine Corps, and even those of the US Navy SEALS Corps. And we can only be drowned by the embrace of a virgin mermaid.' 'Well, Sailer, what you waiting for! You WANNA die?'