03 August 2015

Sorry about the lack of free ice cream

On 15 June, I had to file some paperwork with the State of TExas, Actually, it meant that i should soon be making too much money to qualify for Food Stamps (SNAP benefits). I departed the Bus from the center rather than the front, as there were 4 wheelchairs to be released.  I walked around to get my Bicycleoff the rack on the front, and found that the bus was already moving.  Did jumping jacks, yelling, waving of arms.  Driver finaly noticed and cut his wheels right over my left leg. 

Thus far, I've had some screws implanted to stabilize the ankle, Major skin graft. 
Really nasty, really painful stuff.  I'm prescribed Tylenol #3, one every 6 hours "as needed for pain".  Nothing against it, it just isn't the tool for the job.  "Have one Hershey bar every 6 hours as needed for pain.  Or maybe a piece of pie.  Pie would make you feel better, right?"

 They have a "pain scale".  This is what it looks like.  Pain Scale 1 to 10

My personal zero is an average 5.  Yeah, but the broken ribs are knitting well.  I just popped the dislocated shoulder back into place.  I'm fine.  I'm a guy.  I'm an Irish guy.  Bus runs over me?  Well you should just see the fucking bus.

So there in hospital they try to get me to quantify my pain.  This is where it gets difficult.  They want to give me pills.  I DON'T WANT PILLS.  I know pills.  They'll start working in half an hour or so.  If the pain is severe enough that I complain about it it needs something right now.  The charge nurse  at Ben Taub caught this real fast. "We can give you some ... SHIT!  Dilaudud! Right Now!  STAT STAT STAT!  They roll me into a trauma treatment room.  I suggest a new trash bin and liners.  I hate it when the interns can't make it out into the hall to puke.  Plus it keeps away the Metro Cop who's trying to get me to sign a release form.  Start getting shocky, attention span of an Irish Setter.

I'm in a room now.  "Just take these pills, and you'll feel better."  I DON'T WANT PILLS. It's on the damn chart!  1 mg Dilaudid every 4 hour! Shoot me up.  It works now.  I don't enjoy it, but it makes the pain go away and right now. No!  I'm feeling sick to my stomach from the shock, I'll just vomit them up ,and I'll just want more of the damn pills!  I DON'T WANT PILLS!  In the comfort of my own home I will endure fucking agony for hours, days even, before getting a refill on pills.

I know me.  I smoke cigarettes, for the love of God.  I drink neat vodka.  HOW FUCKING STUPID DO YOU THINK I AM? I DON'T WANT PILLS! I'M NOT SAFE AROUND PILLS!

I don't wanna go there.  Fucking suckstart a Mossberg first.  Been there, and I cry salt tears every day in regret and self-revulsion.  You really, really, don't want to live in my head. You don't even want to visit.

1 comment:

Linda Livesay said...

Well, that sounds pretty graphic, JC. Hope you heal heel quickly.