15 October 2014



Little Stevie Winwood: 

By the windy city:

:By the old school: 

And a personal fave, Grand Funk: 

Gonna strut like a cock until I'm 99

09 October 2014

Scary thought

Reading http://www.thebangswitch.com/its-not-about-safety-its-about-control-and-confiscation/ , it came to my mind that almost all gun control laws begin with control of “Military and Law Enforcement” type weapons. This would mean, in effect, all firearms chambered for “mil spec/LEO” rounds.

Am I alone in seeing this as reason for the .gov to keep switching calibers? Ban .38 Special, .357 Mag.,45ACP, 9x19, .40 cal and 10mm handguns? They're all traditional LEO rounds. And 5.56 and the virtual equivalent .223 Rem, as well as 7.62/.308, 30.06, .338 Lapua, .300 Win Mag and .50BMG?

Just spit-balling here, but there is historical precedent

08 October 2014


is the protocol to address a former occupant of the Oval Office as “Mr President”?

I know some college professors who insist on being addressed as “Doctor”, and I understand that. Worked hard for it and so on. I also know just about as many who say “Call me Jack”. I also know more than enough 2 PhD couples where “Dr Smith” gets both heads out of the pasta to say “Huh” at the spaghetti dinner. I even know some few who say “Don't call me doctor, I'm not a physician”. I admit that I am older than most students by a decade or so. OK, maybe 3.

Retired military are a touchy subject. Old friend D. S,(PhD, Col. USMC) is Colonel to his students. Once a Marine, always a Marine. I respect that. My brother's friend M. D. is PhD, MD, and Col, USAF. Two of a kind beats one high card, I guess. The late Mike F. was Col USAF and PhD but went with Colonel, but he was faculty at the AF Academy. I can dig it.

But winning a popularity contest? OK, a VERY LARGE popularity contest while being pampered like a show poodle and managed like a high school horse? Is Vanessa Williams (exemlum gratia) still addressed as “Miss America”?

30 September 2014

More Frequently Confused Words That Piss Me Off

Pallet is moved with a forklift
Pallette are moved my an artist
Palate is where the sense of taste is perceived, also the sense of taste, as a synedoche

e.g. “The artist moved a pallet-load of pallettes to his studio, but despite all the efforts of his girlfriend, the palate was still wooden”

Reins control a horse, and I don't care if the pony's name is Princess
Reigns control dynasties, even if they are pony Princesspalities*
Rain falls from the sky, upon the wicked and the just (It's in the bible. Or Shakespere.)

e.g “the reigning king lost his reins in the rain. Humpty Dumpty, cleanup in aisle 6”

And who can overlook: “There's none of their stuff there”

    a Prince rules a Principality, a Dule rules a Duchy, a Baron a Barony, a Count a County, a Bishop a City, a Priest a Parish. Is this so difficult? Jeez, kid nowadays.

Peddle mean to sell
Pedal is to cause something to move by operation of (epynomous) pedals
Paddles serve a similar function in water
e.g. “Paul peddles pedal powered paddle boats.”

Medal is an honor or decoration awardes for an accomplishment
Metal a material with certain atomic and structural characteristice
Mettle is dedication strength and or endurance

e.g. “Steve showed his mettle, keeping the pedal to the metal, winning the gold medal.”

Damn, I could carry this on for weeks.

Contra ACA

We've got to understand the lack of limits on the ACA, also known as Obamacare. There was never any intention of anything less than the institution of a National Health system on the British model, and there has never been any intention of it's being anything other than a nationwide behavior control program.

As instituted in the UK, the smokers, drinkers, and fatties are being denied health service. The turgid cries of “Health Dangers” have come very close to banning my French Chef's knives, not to mention my 115 year old Mauser in my closet.

The point I'm trying to make here is that once healthcare becomes trump,all other rights vanish.

I am a lifelong believer in the right to stoopid. You want to be stoopid, please go right ahead and be my guest. I'm here to help. You descend into terminal stoopid, I'll do what I can, and so will my friends, my neighbors, and my parish, to help your survivors. It's the way of our people, and by “people”I mean “humans”.

Yes, there are degrees and exceptions, and I'm not going to get into those at this time.

The point I'm trying to make is that once the healthcare of America is subject to the rule of those who “know better” there is no right that will withstand scrutiny.

There's a set of PSAs (Public Service Announcements) being run on radio stations now: “Know the Contents of Your Medicine Cabinet'. The National Healthcare Database” means that any cop who wants can intrude. Not for any presumed misuse of fun drugs, but because you have kids. Or had https://www.google.com/search?q=foster+children+killed+by+cops&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a some disease which indicated painkillers. Possibility of addiction, y'know

Maybe you're just a sloppy eater. Need some good carbon tetrachloride spot lifter (can you still buy it? I get mine na levo from a friend with a chain of dry cleaners).

And OMFG! Gunnz!!Eleventy1!! Now not a matter of the Second Amendment, but an “unlicensed medical device” infinitely more deadly than the recently (banned as devices) DNA scans from 23andME.

Anybody else remember Al Gore's promise to ban all chlorine compounds? “And how were your French Fries, Mr President?” But that's ok, 'cause Mayor Bloomberg carries his own bootleg salt shaker. Maybe he gets a special kosher salt variance. Because the crystals are larger, and then you've got a religious exemption. But on the other hand, the city of San Francisco has banned male circumcisions “for health reasons”. Try dealing with a prepuce infection and adhesion on an uncut 2-year-old. So religious exemptions seem to be out as well.

Black nail lacquer weakens the fingernails. Bye-bye Goths. Hydrogen peroxide is bad for the skin. Bye bye 70% of blondes. Tattoos and piercings can lead to infection. So I cut off my left arm*, my right pectoral**, both nipples***, and can no longer identify chicks who like doggie style****.

Drinking is bad for you, so let's ration it. One pint Victory Gin per household per week. Sorry, I meant per month. If you eat your cabbage. It's high in vitamins and iron, and keeps well in the cold. Corn? Sorry, it's needed to keep my car running. You understand. Corn is distilled into whiskey to run my car, right? My driving is more important than you eating food. Talk to the boot*****

Diet is even easier. With the portion of the population getting food stamps (I ain't proud, been there myself) it should be easy enough to get everyone (save the nomenclatura) into a sustainable Gaia-friendly vegan diet by some easily drawn restrictions to the SNAP program. Even easier with the scanners and database management implicit in the inventory control systems used by most grocery stores. Which systems could easily be made mandatory, cutting convenience stores and bodegas out of the loop. That's a feature, not a bug. Big business good, small business bad. How much did they donate on the last election cycle?

But there's so much help we could get. If only OSHA could make the standards for our homes! And if everyone were ADA compliant! (Toronto, IIRC, just banned doorknobs. Not just the front door and back door and every bedroom door but the door from the garage to the kitchen and every bathroom, the retrofit for a 3/2 h, well we're running about $3k. Think I'm exaggerating? I'm doing it myself. Want a locksmith? 10K plus.)

Now how about aggression. It needs a safe outlet.

Let's begin the 5 minute hate.

Who's it gonna be this time?

* Tattoo of the State of Texas
** Tattoo of yellow rose, emblem of the State of Texas. Doesn't sag, either.
*** Got tired of 'em and let them heal up
**** What the fuck else is the tramp stamp supposed to be? “Hi, my name is” or “Property of”...
Nothing against ink, I wear some myself. Including flowers. But they're yellow roses It's a Texas thing. You wouldn't understand.
***** To imagine the future imagine a boot stomping endlessly on your face. Quote from my memory of the dear sweet Eric Blair, and if you don't get it then fuck you and Susan too.

Regarding E-cigs

I really hate the designation 'e-cig”. I also admit to a great distaste for the neologism “vaping”. But after a week without real Marlboro (red, short, soft pack, pronounced 'marl boor oh' with the accent on the middle syllable) I feel that I can give my impressions.

For the past few years I have followed a simple policy: I smoke 1 (one) cigarette during each hour divisible by 3. Each cigarette takes between 5 and 8 minutes to smoke. Off brands in the breeze burn fast. American Spirit at my desk take a good 9 minutes. Too dear, though.

Cig-Es (neologism alert!) have some problems.

They don't taste real. I've tried a number of them, and the desideratum of the makers is nicotine delivery. They all taste of antifreeze – propylene glycol, to be precise.

Dosage control: a real ciggie burns away, and a Cig-E stays the same, so when have I finished my allowed use?

What is the conversion factor for Cig-E versus real smokes? Roughly 12 tokes per RealCig, each stronger than the last. Cig-E each as strong as the last. No feedback save for a glycerin leak on the mouthpiece.

Those who use them and enjoy them tell me to take a puff or two and then set it down until I “need” another puff. Sorry, that dosage control does not work so well for me.

I admit that I use only cigarette form CigEs. I'm told that the pleasure from the more “sophisticated” designs is better. Those are either huge heavy cumbersome cylinders roughly the size of a Churchill cigar, or even more advanced thingies based on newest reefer tech that resemble airbrushes.

And then I remember old Doctor F, who died prematurely at the age of 92, saying “:Everywhere I go I carry pleasure with me in a little box” as he held up his daily nutritional requirement of Marlboro.

Begging the Question

The phrase “begging the question” has the specific meaning of “taking as settled a matter in dispute”. This is often found in political discourse. The often heard, “Well, as we all know...” is an example of begging the question, inasmuch as we may not all know that, nor need the posited thing be true. Exemplum Gratia: “As we all know, Jews need the blood of Gentiles to make Passover Mazahs”.

Please, please, by the Virgin Mary and her seven dwarves, do not conflate it with “raises the question”. That's a different matter entirely..

That question may on its part be tabled in either the (US) form of “removed from current dispute” or the (UK) sense of “brought to the table for dispute”. But it is raised, not begged.


So the Argies default on another bond issue. They've been doing that at roughly ten year intervals for a long time. The default and ancillary issues were described as “~ 26 Billion USD, or the amount that Argentina holds in foreign currency reserves”.

Some few months before that declaration there was a series of fires – if by series one means many (3+
) on one night, all at secure document storage facilities operated by Iron Mountain. There was a loss of at least a dozen lives, despite there being reportedly quadruple layers of reduncacy on the fire supression systems.

All this taking place on the eve of a major audit.

Nothing to see here, move along citizens, or you'll feel this nice cattle prod.

21 August 2014

Thank you Al Gore

For saving the whole motherfucking planet by making me cook in the dark.

II know that you neant well when you thought (and I use the word loosly) that the use of longer life bulbs would make a difference.

Bullshit, What was a $1 4pack of bulds is now a $12 4pack of bulbs, with added mercury, and no added bulb life.

Thank you for saving the water. I must now stay in the head and monitor each bolus to see that it has gone down the tubes, sometimes requiring as many as 5 flushes.

I'd like to thank you personally, but I can't get access to the “general aviation” areas where your personal Gulfstream lands with the USAF escort.

That's ok. I realize that the world is more important, and that your monthly power bill is more than my annual income because you're more important than I am. Cause you were in 'Nam. Chaplain's assistant, then worked up to Photographer's assistant.

28 July 2014

Yard Man Black Hole

I used to live near 43d street and Watonga. (damn it's a neat sound, c.mon and say it with me now: Watonga. Watonga! WATONGA!! Thanks, I feel better now.)

The thing is that so far as I can figure it was the staginging area for evey yard crew in the metroplex, and here was a pothole right in front of my house. Stuff bounced out of the trailers every day. I started making an industrial strength windchime. “Hubcap, shovel, shovel, string trimmer, yard blower, yard blower”. Had to quit when I found a 17 horse John Deere tractor mower on my lawn. It broke the tree.

Things that are over-rated

Walker Percy had a character say “the two most over-rated things in the world are sexual intercourse and Johns Hopkins Medical School”. (Quote from memory)

Let's not limit it to two.

Whole Wheat stuff other than bread. Whole wheat pasta dissolves before it gets to the al dente point, Whole wheat tortillas fall apart at non-trivial times, that is, when the enchilada is on the fork headed toward the mouth.

Applewood smoked anything. It doesn't make the smoked food taste of apple, any more than cherry wood furniture tastes better thatn any other type. The only type of product worth mentioning pecan, but not the wood. is The green husks that surround the nut are treasured by cogniscenti. Mesquite burns too hot, hickery is not native.

Expensive wines. Even in blind taste tests experts have a hard time telling the difference. I now coin a new term: “Wallet-Snobbery”, meaning “you will never know the difference because you can't afford it”. This applies to so many diffferent things (you've never driven a..., you've never tasted a..., you've never fucked a...) that I see the phrase gaining popular use soon.

Heirloom Veggies. Robert Aton Wilson (thought I was gonna cite Heinlein agin, didn't you) wrote “there are two kinds of fools. There are those who say 'this is old therefore this is good', and there are those who say 'This is new, therefore this is better'”. I do like the colorful potatoes, though

Pre-CBS Fenders, pre-Norlin Gibsons, and all that collector bullshit. For me, a guitar is a tool, plain and simple, and if it does the job then I'm happy. This does not mean that I buy lao gai products. OTOH, I also have a few shelves of autograph first editions, so I understand the feeling.

Anything with a lowercase “I” in front of it. Pad, pod, book, tune. Not bad per se, just over-rated.

Well Shit, I Did Not Know This

By way of Weapons Man, I found out that Ovation Guitars is ceasing productin in the States. This doesn't suprise me terribly; The Encore line has been made overseas since its inception, and the fact that the factory was up in, wazzit, Connecticut?, meant that it was doomed by the political climate. The founder, guy names Kaman, started out as a military Helicopter maker. 'Nuff said, for the state that has run native son Samuel Colt the hell out of town.

That being said, I can't say I have any fondness for Ovation guitars. The turtle backs make them difficult to play when sitting or standing – they always want to go strings-up like a BlueGrass Dobro. That's a distraction that gives a pro player problems. The choices are to hunch over to a really uncomfortable degree, or to use a special stand to hold the guitar in place while standing behind it (I remember seeing Rennisance and Yes using this method).

They shine in one application, though. Can't beat 'em as beach guitars. Loud, clangy, brash... The fucking guitar's already 3 beers ahead of me! All man-made materials, nothing to warp. Use it as a fucking canoe paddle, change the strings, and back to normal. OTOH, doesn't burn for shit, and sometimes that's the only way to get rid of folksingers (an abomination and a stench unto the nostrils of the LORD).
Here's the real skinny. The Connecticut line was making just the custom shop Adamas line, which sells for average about $3k. Not worth it. If you're dropping that kind of green on a new axe you can get a better instrument at a better price, with your name in mother of pearl (or at least mother of toilet seat) inlaid into the fretboard. (BTW, a fret job on an Ovation essentially means REPLACING THE FRETBOARD, cause man-made materials).
I wish the company the best of luck. You'll still be able to get the same fiberglas boxes, the same durability, as you have becomed accustomed to because those makers haven't changed. You just don't have Ovation Custom Shop anymore. If you want a real custom, you already know Neal, you know Michael, you know Randy, and these are just off the top of my head in Texas.

Probably the Most Unkindest Words I Ever Uttered

Were to a teenage girl that I had known for years, who asked me “Why don't the boys like me?”

“Darling, you're cute, you're smart. And you have the voice of a crow”.

Seriously, the ONE THING that one can change without surgery or therapy is the speaking voice. For fuck's sake I grew up in what most folks would call East Texas. I don't have the flat nasality of the native accent. I usually explain my accent as being brought upon by a younger brother with a hearing inpedimant, and it being easier to lip-read. Carrying as I do a beard something between Santa Claus and Billy Gibbons, I can no longer use that excuse, but I swear by the dear virgin mary and her seven dwarves that when I was in hospital the nurses called each other in to hear my voice, and when I'vd had to go to government offices I've been held there so that the co-workers could hear my voice. I quit doing radio 35 years ago.

It ain't hard to have a pleasant voice. Just pay attention. Read to your kids, and do the voices. Slow down, and make the feelings come through. The human voice is the most sensitive musical instument, and it'a a shame to see it abused or neglected.

Those Crow Nims

It can get confusing, particularly in the proliferation of acronyms. Some are all purpose:

TL;DR = Too Long; Didn't Read.
YMMV= Your Milage May Vary (used in a metaphorical fashion),
TEOTWAWKI = The End Of The World As We Know It,
YOLO- You Obviously Love Owls (Rice U Version)
IYKWIMAITTYD = If You Know What I Mean And I Think That You Do

and those are just some of the … “more accesible”, commonplace ones.

SciFi: that I read

SMOF= Secret Master Of Fandom
SJW = Social Justice Warrior
GHH = Glittery Hoo-Haa
SMOD = Sweet Meteor Of Death
STFU = Special Task Force Unicorn (Thanks, Larry!) (Shut The Fuck Up is the usual usage)

Some are political:

VWRC = Vast Right Wing Conspiricy
VLWC = (you do get the idea, right?

A lot of them owe a debt to the Military (TL;DR)

Some are carried over from dating and sex sites: (Again, TL;DR, but I'm glad that I was not the one to explain to a good friend and neighbor the acro “MILF”) (Mother I'd Like to Fuck)

But these are new to me:

TWANLOC = Those Who Are No Longer Our Countrymen, and
FYTW = Fuck You, That's Why
Some text is in white font, 'cause I suspect my dear Mother visits from time to time, just to see that the socks are picked up.

Tall and tan and young and lovely

The Girl from Impenema Goes Walking , and when dhe passes each guy she passes goes Ahhhhh

Ah the Bossa Nova. And the beautiful girls.

You want to see a color-blind society? Brasil.

During the times of the slave trade, North America absorbed perhaps 8% of the incoming trade. Brasil took about 50% (it's a big country), and the Carribean area took about 40%. Look it up, this is not rocket surgery.

My point is hybrid vigor: Just watch the World Cup, filtered through Google Images, for Beautiful Girls, Not Blonde

Portugese, Spanish, Indio, African and Asian. The women are stone beautiful and don't you dare call me a liar. Unfortunately, the culinary lines don't seem to have mixed. Black beans and white rice (Cristos y Moros) is not culinary ecuminism, even with platanos.

21 July 2014

Wipe Your Feet When You Come In

close-up picture of an astronaut's footprint in the lunar soil. 

Bless your sole. 

So What Do We Do With A Problem Like Lois?

(Sound of Music Clip Goes here)

So some hard drives crashed. It could happen to anyone, right? I mean, if the data I need to defend myself in an IRS audit just happens to be on that drive vanishes, then I'm OK?

Well, no. Find all your hard copies and then we'll talk. (All government agencies have a policy of considering e-mails to be ephemeral instantuations of REAL documents, therefore ALL e-mails are to be printed out and retained). OOPSIE! That memo must have been on theat same drive...

This leads us to an odd situation. We've got the obvious Mens Rea (guilty mind) executing a well-coordinated ass-covering, but a reasonably plausible one.

Now here's an idea. Abuse of Fiduciary and Failure to Perform Due Diligence. After all, she was/is employed as arbiter of imposts on the whole of the body politic, on behalf of the selfsame body politic, entrusted with carrying out that duty, and turning it to personal benefit. Neglect of routine mandated recordskeeping looks like a Due Diligence matter to me.

Now I realize that these matter are civil court matters, but the remedy is usually the appointment of an independent-to-hostile auditor appointed by the court and not the DOJ, which is what we're looking for anyway.

Run it up the flagpole and see who salutes.

Re: Sandra Fluke

In some cases of uterine and/or breast cancer progesterone is indicated. That's not birth control, that's off label prescription. Hormone threapy is also indicated for early post menstrual syndrlome. That's not the same thing as, e.g. RU486, the “morning after pill”. Never was, never will be. But will forever be confused with. On purpose. 'Cause that's the way they roll. Lying cunt, she knew that when she stood up.

Munchausen fireman

Our GodKing seems to be forever dancing from fire to fire, all of which he has set himself, all of which are blamed on others, and says he can't dance to the music of honkeys.

How about some video of Obama dancing? No hay.

An Open Letter to John Cornyn

To: The Honorable John Cornyn, Senator for the State of Texas

I must admit that I was quite surprised to find you named as a suporter of the incumbent in the Mississippi Senate race. I find it indefensible that you, through your Political Action Committee, contributed $50,000 to the libelous attack on Chris McDaniel , and explicitly supported Thad Cochran, a time-serving, rent-seeking RINO-at-best.

Do not expect my support in your upcoming election bid. I hope that there will be a solid conservative/libertarian to oppose you in the primaries.

This act, be it motivated by realpolitic, inside baseball, or just quid pro quo, is abhorrent to my understanding of the duties of the the Senate, which, in the words of Edmund Burke, are :”to stand for what is right, not what is popular”. You, sir, seem to have failed on both points,

Your Friend,

James Collins

(Salutation and closing according to Miss Manners. Official correspondence and all that. The closing “Your Friend” is endorsed for correspondence with equals, and is in fact the approved signing-off for correspondence between elected heads of state and others regal or elected. Correspondence between regal heads of state finishes off with “You loving Cousin”. IIRC, including declarations of war)