SNAP

Supplemental Nutritional Aid Program.

Yes, I get it. I use it to buy food. Beans, rice, tuna, milk, butter, fruits and veg. I buy a lot of frozen, 'cause it's cheaper than fresh and cooks up just about the same. But I cook.

Come over to my place and you might get paella,

Dood, I know what that costs at a restaurant!

But it's cheap food. “Paella” is from “Para Ella” which means “for her” which means the maid's take-away. This is leftovers and to tell you the truth I do a damn good paella and I get sick of it.

And you know what? Paella ain't nothing but dirty rice, which turns into Creole Gumbo with some tomato sauce...

The woman who grew up to be my ex wife decided she liked me when I went into her kitchen. “There's nothing here to eat” she said, and then I made a nice pasta with ham and peas in an Alfredo. Nothing to eat?

I admit that I am not the average consumer of food. I've been a professional chef (but not at the time above referenced). I didn't learn from my mother or from my grandmother.

I taught myself, just as I taught myself to play guitar. I want something that tastes like this. At the age of 14 I was doing the special dinners for the family (OMG! The Bishop's coming! Cook something good!) and then taking my flattop off to a bar and playing for free beer (I wanna have something that sounds like this!).

But there's stuff I can't get with SNAP.

Toilet paper.

Soap.

Laundry supplies

Stuff my girlfriend needs when she comes to visit.

OTC meds. e.g. Aspirin and antihistamines.