30 June 2014

Common Core

So far as I can tell, thte idea behind this is to teach dukk children the tricks the bright children use.

Doesn't work. The bright kids don't learn the tricks, by and large they work them out themselves. No-body told me that 1 over 7 was 0.14. Worked it out for myself, and the fact that one seventh was twice seven was just lagniappe. And that word there, “lagniappe”. It means (in the words of Mark Twain) the thirteenth donut in a baker's dozen. And one half of one over three is repeating sixteens.

You know where you learn this shit?

Well, actually, fuck you, I learned it in Baseball. Learned to make the numbers dance, and learned that the numbers lie, because even with a .446 average aagainst left handed pitching and thte fact that he hasn't hit a leftie in his last 5 at bats, his odds are still ledd than 50% over the entire at-bat.

Common Core assumes that the shortcuts that I use can be used by everyone. Don't work that way, and it shouldn't. I memorized 3.141596283 and I'll stop there, bcause it was expected of me. The standar mnemonics are: May I Have A Small Container Of Coffee (31415626) and (Man I Need A Drink Alcoholic of Course). Commn Core also assumes that the students give a fuck. They don't.

Now here's another: I go and catch up with sone buddies, and because I'm really famous and shit it's at the Brown Derby in LA. You had the smoked salmon, but your girlfriend had the oysters, and you had two orders of oysters, but you had the lobster with truffles...(this is where I show up, nibble a breadcrust and adopt an abandonded water glass).
Oh, it's just too difficult. Math's so hard. There's me and Siffany, you and Tiffany, and you and Viffany, plus you JC, so let's just divide it by 7 ! Makes it easy, right! Lord help them when they try to figure the tip, but knowing the folks I do in “high-class” places in LA, the table service dude will get fucked. Valet parking guy may get $20 to $100 each, cause every one of those fuckwads knows what he paid for his car. ME, I just pisssed on all the radiators. Heh, heh.

See, that's what happens when you don't learn math. Let's look at averages. Did you know that there are 3 different kinds?

Add 'em all up and divide - that's called the MEAN

Chart 'em all up and find where there's more above and below, that's called the MEDIAN

List 'em all and find the most common number, that's called the MODE

I learned this in 5th grade. But that was around the middle of the end of the War in VietNam (which started in 1939, with the East Asia Co-Prosperity Sphere going after the French colony in VN. Please, don't get me started), and numbers started to take on a numinous sparkle all their own.

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