30 June 2014

Bluenose Nation

Gun Control

cause look how good it works! Pretty fucked up.

Dame Agatha Christie, 1941: “Of course he might have ownes a pistol, for carrying when abroad, y'know” (quote from menory)

Likewise Mark Twain on visiting the Holy Land (it wasn't broken up into countries per se at the time).

Likewise Graham Green visiting Mexico.

Ditto Evelyn Waugh visiting Africa (specificly Abyssinia, a law abiding Italian colony). Great line from the Sword of Honour Trilogy: “Darling I've been called up. Can you find my service pistol?” “Oh, here it is. Found it in the toybox in the nursery.” We all remember the epidemic of accidental shootings in the UK , right?

You Drink Too Much!

Can you say “bias error”? Wanna know who's responsible for the increase in DWI? Two groups: Ford Motor Company, who brought the automobile into the price range of the working stiff; and Mothers Against Drunk Driving, who keep moving the goalposts. Deaths due to auto accidents were actually higher when the roads were shared with such eco-friendly vehicles as mules and horse drawn wagons, not to mention the damn pedistrians. Now fuck near everybody's covered in armor, except me on my bicycle, and I'm damn well aware of that. Starting to get the nickname “coyote” - grey haired and paranoid. Fuckin A Tweety. But they're wrong. I realize that the drivers and the roads aren't trying to kill me, they just don't give a damn.

Blood alcohol concentration as measured by Breath-O-Lyzer used to be 1.2%. Pretty fucked up on most scales. Then dropped to 1.0%. Then 0.80%.. The current move is to 0.60%, which is “I may have driven near a brewery”. That's what I mean when I say “moving the goalposts”.

But it doesn't stop there. If I (being a good Christian boy, and not wanting to offend) brush my teeth after enjoying a double garlic with gyro and jalapeno pizza, the assumption is made that I brushed my teeth to cover up the SMELL OF LIKKER. Contrariwise, if I don't, I'm accused of poor hygeine. Got me coming and going. No win.

Look at the liquor bills for the first Continental Congress. Those dudes were consuming at a rate of 2.5 Kennedys per day. And the handwriting was much better than mine.

Smoking Is Yuckie And You Suck!3

This is a real piece of shit dating back to the days of Braniff Airlines (ask your GrandParents, kids). Back in the early days of jet flight, stewerdesses were considered desirable sex partners by those lucky few who could afford to fly in the big ol' jet airliners. Like, exotic. Also, fish in a barrel. Unlike cocktail waitresses, they had a steady supply of wealthy prey. Having to go to the (free, supplied by the airline) hotel and clean up, take a shower, and wash their hair interfered with their desire to lay with wealthy travelers on expense accounts, who were quite likely stauying in the same hotel. This gave an unfair advantage to the (obviously inferior) cocktail waitresses, who were already scantily clad and waiting to take advantage of those pooor fools.

The iconic Shamrock Hilton in Houston (grew up near there) was the designated hotel for all of the international airlines. The stews and pilots had assigned rooms, keys already issued. The victims (pardon me) grateful passangers had to check in and get to the rooms before hanging by the pool. But that little bit of time to get the smoke out of the hair was enough that some poor stews didn't get the man previously targeted. The only thing to do is to ban smoking on airplanes. It was never a health matter.

How did we get here?

Fuck if I know. There's a lot of what folks call “Victorianism”, but if you study the period it's neither obvious nor true, Exemplum Gratia : Ben Franklin and the Hellfire Club. He owned a newspaper, too, but so did a lot of other folks at the time. :Last I checked the newspapers were down to 3 major owners. But for years “Times Features Syndicate”, “AP Syndicate”... thte camoflauge was thin even then. What happened? Well, Claire Booth Luce died , for one, and Universities started giving degrees in “Journalism”.

The certification of “journalists” (as opposed to writers) probably rang the bell for the end of newspapers. noted that one ttime he went through a checkpoint and was asked wht he meant by “reportage”. He swiftly corrected that to “newspaperman” and was allowed through the checkpoint.

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