30 June 2014

Bevvie Tip

I drink iced tea. By the pint, by the quart, by the gallon. Really

Okay, gallon and a half per deim during summer, unless it's really hot and I'm doing really sweaty labor. Then I might drink more.

This is not terribly strong tea: 2 bags to the quart (Do Not Squeeze The Last Bit Of Brown Out Of The Bag It Will Make The Whole Thing Taste Nasty), and (sprinkle magic pixie dust) each half gallon is flavored with a 1 quart … thingie (Straw? Packet? Individual portion container?) of generic sugar-free lemonade powdered drink mix substitute product stuff. I'm informed that someone has trademarked this nectar as “Arnold Palmer”. I have no idea who he is, other than the fact that someone once told me that his wife once told Johnny Carson that she kissed his balls for luck. This is a sick, sick society in which we live.

*** The Aforementioned Product Is Not To Be Used As A Substitute For Real Lemonade Especially If You're Expecting To Get Your Lawn Mowed***

This resulting bevvie (RESULTING, you morons, not REVOLTING) being low in caffeine (cold brewing, i.e. tap water on the counter), and containing things that I am informed are useful, such as vitamins and minerals and electrolytes (they think I'm a battery, eh! Light them up, I will I will) is more useful for re-hydration than Co-Cola, lacks the fizzy byproducts, and is very, very cheap. Which makes it close to my heart.

Here's the ProTip. I use stolen pint mugs from a local pub that went tits up so they don't want them back. Keep the mugs in the freezer with about an inch of liquid. Top 'em up with the lemon tea. No ice, no dilution, leaves the ice for x – and – tonic. As a matter of fact, the tea rings lend a certain essence to the vodka and grapefruit soda too.

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