30 June 2014

My Home Town

It's Houston Texas. Best motherfucking place on Earth to live.

Wadda you need to live? Air, water, food, shelter.
Here in Houston, the air all but invites itself int your alvaeoli. The air pressure here is standard sea level. I've had asthma. I've had TB. I like sea level air pressure. Keeps me alive, kinda.

Water: It's considered good enough to brew with by about a dozen breweries locally. Slightly soft, not high in lime.

Food. Houston has more Vietnamese citizens than Saigon. Really. Check the stats. Now think: If Chinese food is good, and French food is good, then Chinese French food should be good too?

Ding! Wrong! Vietnamese food is better than that. A humble Bahn Mi from a humble Vietnamese sammich shop has probably had more time spent on the choice of bakery than you spent on with or without mayo, and most make their own mayo n premises.

C'mon. I dare ya. Name an ethnic cuisine (with the possible exception of live monkey brain from Borneo, and I’m not sure that I couldn't find one here in town) (and I'm NOT going to look, although I do know where to start).

For some reason the Czechs tend to BBQ, but the Poles prefer table service. Find great ones, and they're not throwing stones.

Shelter: If you're willing to move out to the suburbs with the good schools and shit you can get a swankienda at a little over $100 per square foot. That means a new construction house of call it 3ksqft for $300k. Just try to find that anywhere else other than perhaps Detroit where you will be paid to knock it down. My rent is 1/20 of what it might be in NYC or SF. (Why are y'all still allowing Woodrow Wilson to set your rents?)

I’ll admit to some problems here. Public transit sucks, but, Lord be Praised!!! there's a new system being posited, that loses most of the maid's routes (routes going though colored neighborhoods on serpentine paths, but debouching at the rich folks area. “I'll pick you up at the bus stop”).

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