29 April 2010

Daddy don't Twitter

Why? you ask yourselves in your teeming numbers.

1) 140 characters is not really enough to express an idea. The result is a bunch of abbreviated comments on something else. This leads to

2) Txtmsg/1337/lol speak and I'm just too old and tired to put up with that sort of horseshit. Yes, it's powerful, yes it leads to growth, but it's still horseshit.

3) (And this is the big one) Chaff to Wheat Ratio. I coined this phrase in the early 70s (1970s, not some other, damnit). I've been saying it since the early days of ARPANET and the proto-internet. The only lacuna in my wisdom was my failure to foresee the ubiquity of advertising. Yes, I do Facebook, yes I blog. And your problem is? I admit that 30+ years onstage as a musician and performer may mean that I'm a bit of an attention slut, but I don't understand Tila Tequila, or Vlad Vodka, or whatever the flavor of the day may be.

I admit I can see some apps - "heading out to sink a pint at the local" might encourage some buddies to join me there, but the constant stream-of-consciousness from the "famous for being well known" folks just sticks a finger right down my esophagus.

I grow old … I grow old …
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.
Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach?
I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach.
I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.
I do not think that they will sing to me.

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