28 July 2014

Probably the Most Unkindest Words I Ever Uttered

Were to a teenage girl that I had known for years, who asked me “Why don't the boys like me?”

“Darling, you're cute, you're smart. And you have the voice of a crow”.

Seriously, the ONE THING that one can change without surgery or therapy is the speaking voice. For fuck's sake I grew up in what most folks would call East Texas. I don't have the flat nasality of the native accent. I usually explain my accent as being brought upon by a younger brother with a hearing inpedimant, and it being easier to lip-read. Carrying as I do a beard something between Santa Claus and Billy Gibbons, I can no longer use that excuse, but I swear by the dear virgin mary and her seven dwarves that when I was in hospital the nurses called each other in to hear my voice, and when I'vd had to go to government offices I've been held there so that the co-workers could hear my voice. I quit doing radio 35 years ago.

It ain't hard to have a pleasant voice. Just pay attention. Read to your kids, and do the voices. Slow down, and make the feelings come through. The human voice is the most sensitive musical instument, and it'a a shame to see it abused or neglected.

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