Above Average

I'm above average. See, I have two legs, and that means that I have more legs than average.

For the slow to get the point (and I don't blame you, most folks don't think this way) I have 2 legs. I don’t have three, and get off to dancing with 1.5 women at a time (whole numbers work better). It's really simple. There are lots of folks (mostly guys) who have lost one or more legs in combat, car wrecks, motorcycle accidents, bar fights, industrial”incidents, whatever.

The thing is that the math declares that the median American has 1.999999998 legs, and I have 2. Ron Jeremy’s penis does not count as a third leg, nor does mine. It hurt when I tried to walk on it, and I had stability and control problems with it. And getting a shoe to fit was... let's just not go there.

Folks who have studied statistics, please raise your hands?

Mean: arithmetical average

Median: that number above and below which there are the same number of sample

Mode: that number which is most commonly identified.

So: I am above both the median and mean figures, but I hit dead on to the modal number.

Anyone who wants to can use the word “average”. Only we few distinguish between the averages, and when we find that they're being taken advantage, well then we call out he heavy artillery.