30 May 2014

Sonny Bono was Right

So, are we better off then say, 19(??) when Sonny and Cher did the seminal And The Beat Goes on?

Let's find out:

The beat goes on , the beat goes on
Drums keep pounding rhythm to my brain
(The drums are mostly sampled now, and real drummers are finding it hard to get work)
La da da da di di, la di da di da
(Probably constant, and I will do my best to avoid repeating jokes on this motif)

(Sonny)Charleston was once the rage (uh huh – will delete future uh-huhs
(Verifiable. True)
(Cher)History has turned the page
(Pretty much meaningless, but then this is a 60's pop song, so we must be charitable)
(Sonny)Miniskirt's the newest rage
(No longer new, in fact cheerleader-length skirts now pass without comment)
(Cher)Teenybopper is the newborn king
(There is but one market, and that is the youth market.
There is but one King, he is the Sun King. Ra! Ra! Ra!)

The beat goes on , the beat goes on
“Drums keep pounding rhythm to my brain
La da da da di di, la di da di da

(Sonny)Grocery store's a super-mart
(seems meaningless until you compare the Piggley-Wiggley of ~1970 to the Walmart of Super Target of the present day)
(Cher) Little girls still break boy's hearts
But that's all gender-normative cismale nononsense)
(Sonny)Men keep marching off to war
(But now they're all volunteers)
(Cher) Electrically they keep a baseball score
(This line confuses me. Who are “they”? Is there a reference to the previous line? Is it a desire to have the cards moved manually as was done at Wrigley Field? )

The beat goes on , the beat goes on
“Drums keep pounding rhythm to my brain
La da da da di di, la di da di da

Sonny) Grandmas sit in chairs and reminisce
(This is a fact of nature)
(Cher) Boys keep chasing girls to get a kiss
(But we are now informed that twenty-some per cent. of the population is not strictly other-related, Boys are chasing boys, girls chasing girls, girls chasing boys. It gets confusing)
(Sonny) Cars keep going faster all the time
(For a given value of “cars” - is a Bugatti Veron a “car” or a publicity stunt? Also for a given value of “going” - at the time of the song the default highway speed limit was 85 MPH, and the traffic congestion was less)
(Cher) Bums still say “buddy have you got a dime”
(no, “Couple bucks for some food” is the lowest bid I've heard recently)

So, what can we learn from this historic document?

Well, it looks like Sonny, the brainless bimbo of the couple who grew up to be a member of the House of Representitives was right an argueable 60 per cent. Cher, on the other hand, is dead flat wrong on the one falsiable statement made, all the otheres being, essentially, bullshit.

Sonny Bono worked his way up from sweeping floors in the recording studios to a rather elevated elective office, in the course of which he acquired a wife, Cher, and made her famous by writing songs for her and producing all their records. Cher left him for a series of dopers, and is now an icon amongst the gay and transvestite communities, and is well know as a progressive spokesperson by virtue of having money an followers.

Let's give that a moment. Moment done? OK

Sony put his ass on the line in an elective situation. Cher gave money (lots of money).

Left -to- right, let's see who puts the money where the mouth is:

Sonny Bono (R)
Clint Eastwood ( R ) Mayor of Carmel California
Ronald Fucking Reagan (President of the United States of America )fuck yeah), onetime president of a damn UNION (SAG)

Compare and contrast with:

Al Franken,(D, MN) Whose advent in the SNL reduced the whole comic enterprise into a leftist gag line.and is doing the same for the rest of the country

The rest is left as a practicum for the student

No comments: