05 March 2011

Well, my Droogs

It has been a while since last I posted. Life has been, um, interesting, in the proverbial Chinese fashion. I am now the proud owner of one massive case of tuberculosis, which I evidently acquired rather a long while ago, and which has been actively dogging me at least since August (in the form of a nasty persistent hacking cough) since August, but which was just diagnosed in early February, after a fun-filled week-long episode of coughing blood.
So now I'm under virtual house arrest due to quarentine regulations (thanks, WHO) requiring "Directly Observed Treatment", which means a nice little girl shows up with my medications individually packaged for the day's dosage and watches me swallow them. Presumably, this is because I cannot count, nor can I be trusted to take the damn pills by myself. This fine health care professional has been chosen on the strength of her clean driving record and her fluency in English and Spanish, and shows up daily between 9 AM and 2 PM like clockwork. Yes, you do detect a bit of irony there. WHO standards also dictate that I am not to receive visitors nor am I to leave my apartment. This means that the horde of supermodels that normally infest my humble abode must hide in the closet for the duration of her visit for some fast and hot girl-on-girl action.
At the time all this was transpiring, my neighbor with the unsecured internet connection disappeared, cutting me off from the inter-tube webs and most communications and news sources. This is ofcourse doubleplusungood for an info junkie like myself. I was forced into creeping through teh neighborhood and cowering in garages, siphoning off the stray cup of intertube as occasion allowed.
But no more! A hasty, near-ruinous, financial transaction with a local telecom has secured me access Al Gore's net-tubes. This was not without its own entertainment value - tech support asked me more than once what my operating system: Windows or MacIntosh. On my reply that I was running Ubuntu Linux, the reply was uniformly "but is that for Windoze or A??le? Then ATT, my ISP, declared that I could only register using either Internet Explorer (6.0 or above) or Safari (who really cares). We can't be bothered to support all those off-brand browsers, like, um, what was it? FlameWolf?, BurningDog? Oh yes, FireFox. A$$holes.

No comments: