To Hell with those expensive mattress pads. When my (monastic, Fr Damien-like) mattress started sending the springs up through my backal area, I put my spare tofu, no, tofut, no, FUTON (that's the word) on it. The sheets made nowadays are designed to cover mattresses that in my day required the showing of a marriage license, and were restricted in any case to those with legitimate war injuries.
Ah, decadence. I approve.
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