30 September 2014

Regarding E-cigs

I really hate the designation 'e-cig”. I also admit to a great distaste for the neologism “vaping”. But after a week without real Marlboro (red, short, soft pack, pronounced 'marl boor oh' with the accent on the middle syllable) I feel that I can give my impressions.

For the past few years I have followed a simple policy: I smoke 1 (one) cigarette during each hour divisible by 3. Each cigarette takes between 5 and 8 minutes to smoke. Off brands in the breeze burn fast. American Spirit at my desk take a good 9 minutes. Too dear, though.

Cig-Es (neologism alert!) have some problems.

They don't taste real. I've tried a number of them, and the desideratum of the makers is nicotine delivery. They all taste of antifreeze – propylene glycol, to be precise.

Dosage control: a real ciggie burns away, and a Cig-E stays the same, so when have I finished my allowed use?

What is the conversion factor for Cig-E versus real smokes? Roughly 12 tokes per RealCig, each stronger than the last. Cig-E each as strong as the last. No feedback save for a glycerin leak on the mouthpiece.

Those who use them and enjoy them tell me to take a puff or two and then set it down until I “need” another puff. Sorry, that dosage control does not work so well for me.

I admit that I use only cigarette form CigEs. I'm told that the pleasure from the more “sophisticated” designs is better. Those are either huge heavy cumbersome cylinders roughly the size of a Churchill cigar, or even more advanced thingies based on newest reefer tech that resemble airbrushes.

And then I remember old Doctor F, who died prematurely at the age of 92, saying “:Everywhere I go I carry pleasure with me in a little box” as he held up his daily nutritional requirement of Marlboro.

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