08 January 2011

Bad Media

I don't own a TV. Not bragging, it's just the facts, ma'am. I did however work for some years in broadcasting.

As I have a face made for radio, that's where I did it. I l have a voice trained on the stage and 35 years as a professional musician. Grocery clerks ask me to record their answering messages. I can read copy cold and make you want to sleep with it.

Unfortunately the market in radio is held rather closely, otherwise the last words you hear whispering into your ear as the radio fades out for the night might be mine.

The thing is that professional sales guys think that their skills translate into all media. The owner of a well regarded roofing company ends up sounding like an ill-prepared Mafia representitive.
His copy as read ends up as: We'll take ...Care of you...Just call us and we'll... make sure..that your...problems...go away.
Hey, I know the guy. Went to both of his daughter's Quincineros. He's just horribly mic-shy. Should have heard him at his oldest daughter's wedding.

But he thinks that, since he's talking about his work, the Muses will somehow elevate him to the level of Demosthenes.

What's worse though is when the poor SOB thinks that a 'celebrity endorsement' will help. The dude thinks that the poor professional ath-uh-leet will sound more persuasive than anyone else.

Come on. It just makes both of you sound like whores. The Celeb, for taking the joob, and you for offering the money. Fail/Fail.

Another option is to let the "on air professionals" work it into the usual patter. That ain't gonna work either.

You know why?

Because they've got a base of advertisers that they've worked into their rap. It's going to take dozens of reps for them to get the rhytym of your copy.

So, let's look at your options.

DIY: Makes you sound like a dork.
Celeb: Makes you sound like a whore
OAP: Learning curve like a glacier .

Seriously, get a pro. I need the money.

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